"Yes I Am"

Our plan was not to tell Matt's siblings until next weekend when we have our Christmas with them, but last night we all got to be a part of an amazing experience that brought us together a week early as well. 

Last night were the first gay marriages in WA and we got to be there for one of the weddings at the Thurston County Courthouse at midnight. Matt's brother works for the state and knew one of the men that got married last night. 

Little Bean, I hope that you always know that everyone is equal and deserves a chance to be this happy. You got to be there too and I am so happy to be able to tell you that one day! Mommy & Daddy have many great friends who are gay and I am so glad you will grow up knowing no difference. 

Our plan was to tell everyone next weekend by walking to the front door and I would just take my coat off for everyone to see my shirt which would read "Yes I Am" because Matt's siblings are always asking since they know we are (were) trying. I was bummed yesterday that I didn't have time to prep for this before we went over to Matt's brother's house. So, Nana to the rescue! She grabbed a white shirt that she had and a black fabric marker and I quick made it before we left to go to their house.

I was so nervous to tell everyone. 

So I had the t-shirt on under my jacket and the plan was to do the same thing as planned before; just take my coat off and see who will notice what it says. Well, we got there and Megan & Clint were at the house with the kids but Chris & Mel (Matt's siblings) were out together getting pizza. So when we got there Matt told me not to take off my jacket. So for a good 10-15 minutes I just tried to make it seem normal that I hadn't taken my coat off yet lol. It felt so weird. 

Finally, they got home and about 30 seconds after they walked in, I took my jacket off. Everyone was in the living room when I turned around. At first no one got it (which was shocking) so then they finally got it and I screamed "I'M PREGNANT" lol. There were hugs and it was funny :) 

Then I couldn't stop talking about our bean all night.

It was definitely a night for the history books! LOTS of love yesterday :)

-Chelsea Kay-

Dear Little Bean

Dear Little Bean,

I just want you to always know how excited we, your Mommy & Daddy are about having you. We have hoped, prayed, dreamed and thought about what it would be like to have you for so long. We can't wait to meet you in just about 36 more weeks. Mommy isn't the most patient person, but suddenly the days are going fast. I want to soak up every moment of this. I want to remember ever second of what it feels like to have you this close to me. There is going to come a day when it will be rare to have your head even rest on my shoulder. When that day comes, I will look back and be able to remember when you were so little. I'll remember how amazing it was to be this close to you for a whole 9 months. This is a really special time we get to share together and I couldn't ask for anything better. 

I want to let you know about your amazing Daddy. 

Mommy's been pretty sick this week (worst cold ever) and he has been there every second for us. He gives you kisses each night and when I leave to go teach, he says he loves me and then says, "and, I love you Little Bean." It makes me so happy how much he already loves you. He loved you when you were just a dream, too. He has made me breakfast and dinner every day, ran errands and fills my water bottle without asking. You are one lucky little bean to have him as your Daddy. He's going to teach you all there is to know about Disney, how cool is that! He'll play catch with you or practice for your recitals with you (he's a pretty silly dancer). I'm sure you and Daddy will have plenty of fun teasing me and you know what, I don't know that I'll mind so much when I hear you two laughing together one day. That will be the sweetest thing I'll ever hear.  Daddy has been extremely cautious with you already. I have a feeling he's going to be quite protective of you. I'm okay with that. 

We have our first appointment to see you for the first time on January 2nd and 26 days has never felt so far away. I hope we get to see your sweet little heart beating. 

You are already the best thing that has ever happened to us and we love you more and more everyday!

Love,

Mommy 

4 Weeks

Pregnancy Highlights

How far along: 4 weeks 

{Papa's idea...taking pictures in front of the barn where we got married each week}

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Last week I was consistently 120.5 lbs every morning, and the past few days I have been 121.2. So I guess that means I've almost gained a pound. Good!! :) My goal is to be around 125 lbs. by 10 weeks. 

Symptoms: I am exhausted and constantly hungry! I go to bed by 8pm at the latest and wake up around 8:30pm. Although last night I didn't go to bed until 11pm, but I was excited from hanging out with Nana & Papa and sharing our news. Matt and I also decided what we want my parents to be called before falling asleep last night. I'll write about that after we tell them though. Oh boy am I excited, it's so cute!! 

I also have teeny bits of cramps here and there. More like little twinges or pinches than cramps though. Oh, and more gas. Sick I know..sorry ; )

Maternity Clothes: I definitely am fitting just fine in all of my clothes and will for a while. I am really excited to get to wear maternity clothes though. I'll get to wear my friend Haley's maternity clothes and they are so so cute! I can't wait to go buy some too :)

Best Moment Last Week: Finding out we were pregnant just 6 days ago, telling my best friends and telling Matt’s parents! 

Gender: I am thinking it will be a boy. Not "hoping" for one, I will really be ecstatic for either, but I just have a feeling. I'm always wrong about these things though. We’ll see if I keep feeling that way or not. 

Movement: I wish I could feel something this early, still a few more months until that happens:)

Food Cravings: Cheddar Cheese (preferably in the form of cheese sticks).

Food aversions: breakfast in general. I have a hard time eating anything in the morning, but I force myself because I know it will make me feel better when I’m starving an hour later. 

What I Miss: absolutely nothing. What could be better than knowing our child is so close to me...

Sleep: A lot of it, but not good sleep. I wake up to pee once a night and am having crazy dreams. Matt said I was sleeping sideways last night. I read that you should not sleep on your right side, so I’ve been sleeping on my left side. That means Matt and I had to switch sides because we can’t sleep facing each other. It’s been weird. I’m sure we’ll get used to it soon and it will feel normal again. I’m glad to be on that side of the bed though because in the long run I’d have to be. That’s where we’ll have the baby sleep in the beginning once they’re here. 

What I am looking forward to: I am looking forward to being able to tell my Mom & Dad. I am waiting to be able to tell them in person. It’s hard to talk to them now and not say anything. Just about 15 more days. I usually call them once/day, but I've been calling every other instead. Then there is more for them to talk to me about and I don't have to talk at all. So far, they haven't noticed anything different. They're going to freak out!! Eek! I'm so excited for that moment! 

Telling the Parents (Nana & Papa L.)

Tonight I am 3 weeks and 6 days and cannot wait to say I am 4 weeks tomorrow.

For some reason that feels safer. 

We had Matt's parents (Nana & Papa L.) over for dinner tonight. It was Papa's birthday on Monday so we thought this would be the perfect time to tell them. We recently ordered our wedding photo book (almost a year and a half over due) to give to them as a Christmas gift. We took the photo of me with our pregnancy test and a note reading, "Happy Birthday Papa! Love, Little Baby Lanese. P.S Can't wait to meet you in August 2013" and stuck them in the back of the book. 

When they got here dinner wasn't done yet so Matt said, "How about we have you open your birthday present!" He actually looked through the whole book first :) There were a few times when the back page peeked through but I'll never know if they saw it before really "seeing" it. They were happy and there were hugs. They've known we have been trying so it was definitely no surprise. They were definitely happy and I'm glad we got to share our happy happy news with them. Their baby is going to be a Dad, that's pretty cool. 

Matt made a delicious Pot Roast and we all ate a ton. Mmmm (Little Bean & I were happy). We watched home videos that Papa is putting on dvd's for the kids for Christmas. It was so awesome to see and hear Matt as a toddler. I just dreamt the whole time wondering if our Little Bean will be a boy and if he is, if he will look like the cute little chubby cheeked boy I just watched in the videos. That would make me so so happy. I've been telling Matt I have a feeling we're going to have a boy first. We'll see...I hope we get to find out around 16 weeks. That's still 3 months from now though! 

We talked about getting a head start and painting the nursery sooner than later. We're going to have my mom come out here around Valentine's Day and help us paint it. She would really love that. 

Now one set of parents know...just 8 more days until we tell Matt's siblings and just about 18 days until we get to tell my family! It's so hard to wait, but it will be worth it to tell them in person. 

Best Christmas Ever :) This was right before Nana & Papa arrived. We were super nervous.

Cogsy wanted to get in the pictures too, cute little guy!

My awesome husband making fun of me...Oh so funny! I just told him, "See what you get for teasing me, you get BLOGGED!"

Hehe :) 

This really is the best Christmas ever. 

First Appointment, Plans & Realizations!

Our first appointment is scheduled! 

January 2, 2013

I will be 7 weeks and 6 days (so basically 8 weeks). We should definitely be able to hear the heartbeat and hopefully get to see our Little Bean then and I am so excited!

The time between now and then is going to go so fast. We leave for our 2 day drive to Wisconsin on December 20th. We'll be with my family through Christmas and will leave on December 30th or 31st.

We decided tonight how we are going to tell my parents while we're there!
One of my dance moms is a great photographer. She knew we were trying and has always known that when we got pregnant that we would let her know and she could take announcement photos for us.
So this weekend we are going to head to a library (because our libraries are beautiful here) and take cute pictures. Probably in the kids section :) I love it!
We're going to frame one of them and give it to my parents as a Christmas gift.

I also realized today that August 15th, our due date, is my Grandma's birthday!
So we're going to tell her at Christmas too, but that's it. Just my immediate family and my Grandma.
We got married on her mom's birthday (my Great Grandma) so this is so amazing. She's going to be so excited and my mom is going to freak! Now the dates even more beautiful because I love my Grandma.

We told our best friends yesterday while we were out to lunch with them.
We had not planned on telling them that early. They knew we were trying so it was nearly impossible for us to hold it in! They were so so happy. And then it hit me and I cried :)

Last night Matt was still hesitant (silly man) so he wanted me to take a test that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant". He was so happy and hugged me so tight and had tears in his eyes. He said, "Ok, now I believe it!" : )

Tonight I went grocery shopping for healthy snacks and a yummy dinner (salmon, asparagus baked in foil with soy/honey/garlic and potatoes) YUM. I'm hungry ALL day long. So it will be nice to have good choices for snacks. 

I'm really excited to take our pictures this weekend. And also that we get to see our Little Bean in just 28 more days!!! I know I am definitely good at waiting until the #28 ; ) 

-Mommy to Be-

We're Pregnant!

I really can't believe it. I can't believe I get to write it out now. Wow...
I am pregnant!

We did really for the first time feel totally awesome about our timing this month. 

Every time I got sad this month or anxious (which was often), Matt would stay strong insisting that I would see that this month was the month.

I can't believe that I will get to tell my parents in person that we're going to have a baby.

According to when I had my last period, our babies due date is:

August 15, 2013

I think that's a beautiful date.

And it's the perfect time to have a baby here in WA. August is always so beautiful. And September and October are also my favorites in regards to weather here. Perfect for how I could feel postpartum. 

I said that all I wanted for Christmas was a positive test. That's it.

Matt asked me if he could open his new Wii U that's sitting under the tree since I got my present early, ha, yeah right...! ; )

We are still deciding how we are going to tell our immediate families.

I'm still really nervous about everything. It doesn't feel all the way real yet, but at the same time it feels like this is exactly when it was supposed to happen all along and that it just feels right.
We're going to Carter's outlet store today to get little onuses for my mom and dad for Christmas that say cute little "I love my Grandma"...etc. That's how we'll tell them. In WI, in person. We dreamt of this being the way it worked out. I prayed and prayed that we would be able to tell my parents in person when we went to WI for Christmas. We get to tell my little brother, Cody then too! 

 Now that I know I am pregnant I am realizing that certain things that have been happening make more sense. Our pug, Cogsworth, has wanted to do nothing but follow me around and cuddle with me the past few days. Usually it's Matt. He's actually curled up next to me right now. Friday I worked in my office at the studio all day. Around 1pm I was famished. I called Matt to see if he wanted to go to Panera with me. He had already eaten but said he'd love to go anyways. I ordered a tuna sandwich (oops shouldn't eat tuna) AND a bowl of tomato soup. I had two trays...they were all for me lol and I ate all of it. I was still hungry after but Matt assured me that I would live if I did not have a peanut butter dream cookie.

Makes sense now...

I had all my team kids (20 K-7th graders) over to the studio last night for their Christmas sleepover. I am exhausted! I could sleep all day.
I took another test when I got home today. Matt finally believes it too. We walked out of the bathroom and set the timer. Matt hugged me so that I couldn't cheat and run to the bathroom early. Then he grabbed my hand and we walked in together. I didn't look at the test. I decided I would judge by his face. I've never seen him smile so big, and then I knew. I looked down and saw this!

There is no denying that second line now. I had my doubts yesterday and now today I feel 100% confident. Tomorrow I am going to call our midwife :)

{just got home from the team sleepover...like literally walked in the door to the bathroom} :)

Comparison of the past three days tests. I am not going to take anymore for a few more days when Matt would like me take one that says "pregnant" :)

Happy Happy Sunday friends!

-The Mommy to Be- (hehe)

Hmmm...

I'm trying so hard to not get too excited.

I could not sleep at all last night. I was up like every hour.

For a good 2 hours I was up just reading blogs I found via Google all about "very very faint lines" lol.

Oh geez. 

So last night I took the test around 8pm.

This morning I took another one at 8:30pm so about 12 hours later, and Matt agrees it is just a tad bit darker. More noticeable. You don't have to squint and stare to find it.

I'm wondering if that's just because we know where to look now and know what we're looking for.

We have them next to each other now and I swear it's darker.

Now I really think I am just going crazy.

This never happened before, and I test every month. 

I'm almost afraid to know if this is normal or not. I'd rather just not know and have it in my  head for a whole day that I could possibly be pregnant right now... :) 

(I just saw that my comments setting had been turned off from when I made my blog private a while ago, I fixed it now...please don't tell me I'm crazy though lol, I'd rather live in LaLaLand today) ; )

(I'm so annoyed that my "1" got that sloppy on this...it's hard to write on the bumps with a runny marker)

Tonight I have a sleepover at my dance studio with all 20 of my team kids for their Christmas party. That should take my mind off things, thank goodness! Until then, I'm going to read, do lots of laundry and try to finish our Christmas Cards. If they're still getting darker by Monday I'm going to call our midwife :) 

Have a great day! I know I'm going to :)

-Chelsea Kay-